Crush

I remember the time when I was a young fellow, haha...Being a graduate from a Barangay Elementary school, I usually received blatant discrimination from my new classmates in high school who were a graduate from central school more advanced than my school. There was this boy, my crush, confronted me and thrown some degrading words like who am I to excel in class I am just a graduate from a no standard institution. I was trampled on in another sense. I was deeply hurt because he was someone of value to me and all those inhumane stuffs were coming from him? what a pity to myself. Not only him who treated me like stupid lass in our school, some, I noticed on the way they looked at me as if I am someone of no value and no standard and whatsoever it were in their minds I didn't know. All I knew was that they didn't like me and they didn't want me to excel in our academic subjects. (laughs).

Well as the one being degraded of course I felt some crashing pain and anger in my heart. But later on I realized that I am becoming the box office queen in our class. All my actions and ideas were very monitored and I felt this responsibility of studying hard, of burning my midnight candle to sustain my popularity. I was just kidding but really it was the way I viewed the situation back then. Feeler! right?( laughs)

I also remembered one of my classmates labeled me "amming girl" because I usually uttered "am" word when I loosened  my ideas in reciting. Well I could not blame her power of observation. She was right anyway. And again because of that very disappointing label, I also felt the eagerness to eradicate those words in my vocabulary. Every evening I read a lot of books, reading them aloud and discussing what it contained to practice my speaking ability. I also faced the mirror and lectured myself as if I am a teacher. It was a tedious process to erase  manner of speaking but I did it though there were some errors still on the way I speak but as long as I achieved something out of those intimidating label, It was all that matter.

It was hard for me to handle situations back then but I had no choice but to view those stuffs as a compliment in order for me to keep going or else I would be suffocated in an area full of humiliation without even acting to overcome the situation.I thanked those who discriminated me before because in their very painful words I learned and stand to prove that I'm not worthy of their accusations. My gratitude to my former crush who contributed a lot in both pains and gains in my life. You dig up to the core of my heart that keep it beating and pumping and now continually burning for another challenge to conquer. Thank you Jovann Glenn.